I was scrolling through FB and saw a post by a woman that caught my eye. She was celebrating something new in her business building and shared a list of where she thought her identity is from.
She proclaimed that her identity was from her husband, her children, and her work. And hundreds of women cheered her post and commented positively in the comments section.
I was shocked that so many women were cheering on that she found her identity in her husband, children, and work. Her value and worth was from the external not the internal knowledge of who she is.
Now, please understand that I know most women think this way. I know that I thought this way too subconsciously for all my life up until three years ago. I hadn't done the mindset work to realize how broken my identity was and how little I valued myself and Gods' view of me. I was a desperate people pleaser in search of love and outside validation.
If you had asked me 5 years ago about my identity I would have said Christ but not really understood what that meant fully. I was so depressed and anxious because I was looking to others to validate myself and tell me I was "good enough." I was looking to my husband to make sure he loved me "enough" the way I wanted (which at the time was NOT in a healthy way), looking to my children to make sure they REFLECTED a "good mother" to prove that I was "good enough."
For decades I did things that I thought would make me happy--what I really wanted was validation that I was "good enough." I did things to FEEL like I mattered instead of KNOWING that I matter to my Creator & Redeemer.
When we don't know our true identity in Christ and our self-worth and value in Him then we lead dysfunctional lives. We depend on others for love and validation in unhealthy ways. It's imperative to a life well lived that we understand our full identity, worth, and value in Christ Jesus.
What is my full complex identity:
First: I am Christ's. I am saved and made worthy by Jesus Christ. I am made by the righteous right Hand of God! (1 Corinthians 8:6)
Second: I am a sinner set free to be everything that God created me to be in such a time as this. Knowing that my many sins and the past evil that I did is forgiven and cast as far as the east is to the west allows us to develop a healthy identity in Christ.
Third: God so loved me that He sent His only Son to become the propitiation/atonement for my sins and brokenness; therefor it is a logical outflowing of that truth that I fully and courageously perform every task set aside by God for me to do (Ephesians 2:10).
Fourth: Because God created me and has forgiven me, I can embrace, in a healthy way, the subroles that flow out of my primary role and identity as a daughter of The Creator. Those subroles are wife, mother, friend, CEO, coach, neighbor, sister, etc.
My friends, I want to challenge each of us to look deep inside and ask where and who do we get our identity, value, and worth from. If the answer is anything other than from your Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer, & Savior than you have work to do.
If you find that other people's opinions matter more than pleasing God and walking out your gifts, talents, calling, and God-given dreams, tasks, and goals, than you have work to do.
Let's choose to cultivate our complex identity in Christ alone and then walk out our subroles with our eyes fixed on God and what His word says not what others think or say.
Let's choose to cultivate bold courage to stand up for ourselves, our calling, our beliefs, and God's truth. Because Christ is our Savior then we should be embracing the mandate given--pick up your cross and follow Him making disciples of all those around you while confidently sharing your talents.
*Want to delve deeper into cultivating your identity in Christ and your bold courage to walk out your God-inspired dreams goals? Message me now and let's link arms--Christian coaching is a blessing that will positively transform every part of your life forever. Or join my How To BE & BELIEVE You Are A Woman Of Worth Coaching Bible Study Course.
Let's pray: Dear Lord Jesus, thank You for Your love and sacrifice. Thank You that You made a way for us to come into a deep salvation relationship with God.
Please forgive us for our sins and bring us to a mindset of our identity and worth based on Your word and truth. We love You Jesus and are in awe of Your loving sacrifice and high calling to be apart of God's kingdom agenda in this time.
Please imprint Your Holy word upon our hearts and minds and help us to act in accordance with that word, shining love and compassion to all those we interact with including ourselves.
We thank You and praise You for all that You are doing in us. Please help us to rebuke the desire to people please. And please help us to cultivate bold faithfulness to be all that You have created us to be.
It is our greatest desire to be in full alignment with Your will and way for our lives. Please surround us with hedges of protection and help us extinguish the flaming arrows of the enemy that tell us to find our worth in others instead of You.
Thank You Lord for always hearing our prayers and loving us with an everlasting love.
In Jesus name, we pray, Amen.
2 Thessalonians 3:5 NASB
May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the perseverance of Christ.
I empower women to become the miracle they seek--through learning how to speak the word of God to cultivate faithfulness, knowledge of your value, worth, gifts, and more.
I will help you create the confidence, the mindset, the actions, the joy, and the perseverance to thrive in all of life's circumstances both good and bad.