What will you bring to family gatherings this Christmas?
What I have learned over time is: every family has some level of dysfunction, every person needs mindset coaching and therapy, most people are hyper worried about how others see them and judge their choices.
This time of year there are so many mixed emotions. Some people are dreading getting together with family as their minds race over who will say what hurtful thing this year, who will get drunk and cause a fight, who will boast and brag, who will judge and demean, who will bring up politics and/or religion issues, and so forth.
Here are 10 tips and strategies to get through this season's celebration events:
- Journal and process your emotions before going anywhere--insight is empowerment!
- Pray, praise, worship, and pray some more. Pray for peace to rule and reign. Pray for supernatural protection from the forces of evil that desire discord and dysfunction in your family. (Psalm 91 or Psalm 20 prayers in the file section)
- Hold Space for each person. Holding space means allowing someone to speak their mind without refuting it or agreeing with it. We don't have to agree with people or tell them why they are wrong. We can simply say: "I hear your thoughts and perspective." and then sit quietly.
- Remember that most people are extremely insecure (they don't know their worth and value) so they cover that insecurity with judgement and harshness to anything that makes them feel uncomfortable about their life choices.
- Do NOT over share. Weigh carefully what you will share and tell about your life, your business, your marriage, your parenting, etc. Most people assume that if you are sharing you are open to them "fixing" your problems.
- Don't expect support and/or kudos for your life and business. Most people can't wrap their minds around what an online business does or how parenting in 2021 is so different than 3 decades ago. If someone can't wrap their mind around something, they choose not to wrap their support around it.
- Get lots of rest! Go easy on alcoholic beverages--alcohol loosens tongues, skews perspectives, and ruins relationships.
- Forgive. Forgive the snide remarks. Forgive the lack of meaningful support. Forgive the judgement. And release the person into Jesus Christ's hands to deal with as He so chooses. Forgiveness does NOT mean you stay or allow toxic words and behavior to continue. We are not doormats or dump trucks for other people's broken toxicity.
- Set healthy boundaries and healthy expectations up front. Choose to tell people exactly how long you plan to stay, etc. Don't allow others to dictate your time-line, etc.
- Schedule time post holiday celebrations to process, rest, heal, and recover from all the festivities, interactions, etc--don't just jump back into your normal routine. Schedule a coaching and/or counseling session and choose to really dig into your feelings, feel them, process them, and heal them.
Let's pray: Dear God, thank You for this season of reflection on Christ in human flesh. Thank You that all people everywhere can celebrate the most awesome gift--Christ our Savior born and raised to life for our redemption and salvation.
We sing praises to Your name! We are in awe of Your loving power, Jesus! Thank You for making a way for us to have healing, restoration, salvation, protection, and a deep, dynamic relationship with God our Creator.
Jesus please transform our mindsets and perspectives. Please help us to see others with fresh God-inspired eyes. Please help us to talk, act, and be a light that shines to the relationship we have with You.
We thank You for being our Good Shepherd. Please Jesus protect us from the schemes of the adversary. Please rebuke the enemy from causing harm, discord, and chaos during our holiday visits and daily life. Please surround us with hedges of protection and strengthen us.
Thank You Jesus for always being with us. Thank You for hearing our prayers and walking this sinful, broken world with us.
We sing praises to Your name, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Amen!
*Message me to schedule your healing coaching session next week. And/Or you would like the journaling template, or cultivated prayers from Psalm 20 or 91