By Leah Mason-Virgin, RN, IBCLC, FCN
I recently sat down with an amazing mama friend of mine for lunch to hear her adoption story. Kristen is a wonderful mama to two beautiful children, wife to a great hubby, Brian, for 11 years.
I have a huge heart for adoption! My most precious daughter was birthed to us through adoption. And I know that God calls many to this amazing—and to be very honest—emotional journey.
There is nothing that I have experienced in my 41 years of life and 20 years of marriage like the adoption journey. It is a pregnant for many months on end, laboring, and birthing process. There are not enough words to describe this type of pregnancy journey. I felt very much pregnant in my heart with the non-stop worry and never-ending thoughts of our one-day daughter.
As I talked with Kristen, I realized that this is a shared perspective by her.
It is a walk by faith. There is of course paperwork. But more importantly, the constant flood of what ifs. The constant pull of vacillating emotions that drain us one minute and invigorate us the next. Thoughts that are good and others that must be brought under the authority of Christ and rebuked (we take every thought captive and make it obey the Messiah). It takes mindfulness to faithfully walk this journey. It takes daily prayer and staying fixed on the word of God to surmount the rolling tide of what this journey can put people through.
Walking with faith is so key to keeping the worry and crazy emotions at bay. I encourage that if this is a journey you are considering--cover a journal and your bathroom walls in God's word. Stand on His word and His protection and plans.
Kristen and her husband, Brian, chose to adopt through the foster care system. God had prepared their hearts and their very lives for this amazing and blessed journey.
They were intentional with a decision to adopt a sibling group. Sibling groups are more at risk for never being adopted or being split up.
Each state has provisions for sibling groups to encourage adoption and proper support. Such as college help in Texas. This can be an aspect to consider and encourage people to adopt sibling groups.
Kristen and Brian chose to use Bethany Christian Services for their home study. They wanted a home study that would span across the states, meeting all the requirements that each state has. A home study is a critical aspect to the adoption process. You can find information about home studies here.
As the home study social worker observed their home, they were informed that they could adopt a max of four siblings! 😊
This news brought some joy, some surprise, and some questions to Kristen and Brian's minds. They brought their concerns to the Lord. They diligently sought out over time what this meant for their family. There was a faith journey and unfolding of events in each of Kristen and Brian's minds. Kristen explained that she diligently looked to her husband's leading and thoughts on this very impactful news. Patience and time are a huge aspect of most people's adoption journey. Kristen and Brian allowed God's leading and unfolding of events to show them the answers that they needed as they pursued searching for the sibling group that God had for them.
God moves in amazing ways!
While Kristen diligently searched day after day through profile after profile of sibling groups looking for a forever home, her heart went on a never-ending emotional roller coaster. It was a roller coaster of prayer and desire to see all the children she viewed adopted. She knew what her family life could manage. (It is important to speak with your social worker on the needs of sibling groups adopted out of the foster system.)
Kristen diligently prayed day after day over every child she looked at. She sought God's guidance over which sibling groups to put inquiries into.
Each inquiry for a child or sibling group is looked at by a panel of people who decide which family gets to adopt the children they are wanting to adopt. The panel bases their decisions on what is best for the waiting children. They carefully weight all that the children need in accordance with the families looking to adopt them.
After many months of inquires and rejections the phone call finally came.
Kristen and Brian matched with a sibling group of 4. 😊
Their never-ending prayers and pursuit of God's will has opened to them miracle additions—They now have 6 children!
If you are thinking about adoption—pray diligently! Let nothing deter you. Keep learning, keep researching, keep walking by faith. Keep pursing and looking. Pray for each child you encounter.
If you are looking for ways to support those adopting, here are several to consider: first anyone who says they have adopted ask them how you can help or pray for them. Speak about our adopted children with proper language—they are our children—they are our real children! Think before you even speak about our children as if you are talking to God—with kindness and compassion. It is sad the insensitive questions we have received about our children and our adoption process. Especially to those families, who like us, have adopted children from different ethnicities.
If you want to donate money to foundations that support foster care children, please research. We as Christians are called to support the widow and orphan.
James 1:27 (CJB) The religious observance that God the Father considers pure and faultless is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being contaminated by the world.
There should be no Christian on this planet who either has not adopted or is not actively funding children that desperately need a forever home. A home where someone says, "dinner is on the table" and "how can I pray for you today."
One foundation that I support each month is Grow Into You Foundation. An organization that coaches foster children who are aging out of the system who have no family and no proper skills to support themselves. Grow Into You Foundation's training and support is invaluable in helping these children create fruitful lives.
Let's pray for God's discernment in how to support or move forward with an adoption journey:
Dear Lord God Almighty, You are the maker of heaven and earth, we rejoice in Your Holiness, Love, and Mercy. Lord God we humbly come before You to ask for wisdom, discernment, and understanding on the path that You have for us to support Your Kingdom agenda. Lord You command that we seek first Your Kingdom, and all will be added to us. Lord God help us to know how to serve as You would want us. Please Jesus create in us a spirit of love, mercy, and action on Your behalf. Lord please help us speak and think as You would want. In Jesus Name we pray, AMEN!
Feel free to post any questions 😊 or thoughts.
Isaiah 58 (CJB)
6 “Here is the sort of fast I want —
releasing those unjustly bound,
untying the thongs of the yoke,
letting the oppressed go free,
breaking every yoke,
7 sharing your food with the hungry,
taking the homeless poor into your house,
clothing the naked when you see them,
fulfilling your duty to your kinsmen!”
8 Then your light will burst forth like the morning,
your new skin will quickly grow over your wound;
your righteousness will precede you,
and Adonai’s glory will follow you.
9 Then you will call, and Adonai will answer;
you will cry, and he will say, “Here I am.”
If you will remove the yoke from among you,
stop false accusation and slander,
10 generously offer food to the hungry
and meet the needs of the person in trouble;
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your gloom become like noon.
11 Adonai will always guide you;
he will satisfy your needs in the desert,
he will renew the strength in your limbs;
so that you will be like a watered garden,
like a spring whose water never fails.